Saigon Kicked!

Howdy, my faithful Audience (mom and dad!)…

First off, I just lost 1 hr worth of writing, so most of this I am writing will be the 2^nd time I have written it. If it seems a little quick, and glossed over, it’s because I am angry that I have to write it again.

Lets start the tales of our journey by mentioning that we are in a town in central Vietnam called Hoi An, known for its ancient town, sunny beaches, and tailors. Yes, the streets are lined with tailor after tailor, all wanting our business…and a couple have succeeded.

But more on that later. Let’s head back in time to a few days ago, and chat about Saigon a little, shall we?

The morning I left off on, we awoke bright and early to hit up a mini bus that would take us out to an area of Vietnam called Chu Chi, known for their system of underground tunnels that stretch for over 100kms. This tunnel system was the largest of any in Vietnam, and was used by the Viet Cong to defeat the Americans during the Vietnam war. Some highlights of the tunnel tour was seeing a propaganda video used by

the Viet Cong to recruit new soldiers in the 60s. Now, as expected, it did not do any favors for the reputation of the Americans, but at times, it was almost laughable. This would become a running theme later in the day, as well. Keep reading, that will all make sense in a bit.

Another interesting point of the tour was that guide, Hi, actually fought for the South Army during the war, and had now realized that he fought on the wrong side. He realized this after 3 years in a ‘Re-Education Camp’ (read: Labor Camp). His stories about helping the American soldiers with the questioning of the Viet Cong were very interesting, and he tried his best to not avoid any question we asked.

Lastly, we all got on our hands and knees, and got to crawl through a portion of the still-existing tunnels, although they had been widened for tourists (like me) to almost double the original size. Back in the 60s and 70s, these tunnels had dimensions of 60cm by 80cm, barely large enough for one of my thighs, let alone my entire body.

With the completion of the tour, we headed back into the hustle bustle of Saigon to catch up on a little sightseeing before we skipped town the following day. First stop was the War Remnants Museum, formally known as the War Atrocities Museum. This was basically Vietnam’s way of publicly giving the Americans the finger without getting in shit for it. The who place was a graveyard to old American planes/tanks/missiles, and commentary on how the Americans were basically a re-incarnation of Lucifer himself. Now, in no way am I condoning what the Americans did, but

I left that place almost feeling sorry for them. It was just TOO over the top…at one point, I called it a Michael Moore ‘documentary’ of the Vietnam war.

There were a couple of other things that had to be taken care of before we left town. The Post office, which was built during French occupation in the old Colonialism style, and even a miniature Notre Dame…basically the same design as its ‘papa’ in Paris, just smaller in size, and made of brick. Also, the Reunification Palace, the place where the Vietnam war ended on April 30, 1975 (remember that date…) when NVA tanks crashed the gates, toppling the Saigon government. Interesting, but nothing that would blow us away. So with even a little more time to kill, we decided we would be a little bit of masochists, and head back into the market in search of the best deals in town. Plus, I wanted another bottle of $5 cologne.

That evening, while chatting long distance with my brother, Michele caught my eye. I leaned out of the make-shift phone booth to have her say ‘We have some SERIOUS travel decisions to make, and we have 30 minutes to make them!’

Cya Bro!

You see, this is where that date comes into play. April 30^th seems to be Vietnams national holiday, called Reunification day. May 1^st also is a holiday, called Labor day. So, the citizens of the country tend to take off days all around these 2 holidays, and make a pilgrimage back to the smaller villages and towns, cause major disruptions in bus and air traffic. It is basically impossible to get anywhere from the 29^th of April to may 3^rd. So we went into damage control in the travel agency, figuring which direction to go, and which days to go there.

We decided on a flight on the 28^th to Da Nang, with is basically just an airport for a town called Hoi An, the real tourist destination. We also decided on a flight from there on May 1^st to Ha Noi.

Cool.

Problem Solved.

But now we had an extra day. What should we do with the unexpected, spare day? After a short discussion with the agent, Michele had us booked into a day tour of the Mekong Delta…So once again, 8am struck, and the 3 of us were right back on a bus, this time heading south to the Mekong! But I was a little hazier in the head from a terrible experience from the prior night.

You see….

The night before….

We were sitting down to have some drinks with a couple Americans and Canadians we had met during the Tunnels tour. Greg, the American guy, and I were drinking beer for beer, having a good time.

Sidebar: I should set the local. We are on a small, outdoor bar on a side street in Saigon. The place is about 30 sq. ft inside, and has 4 small tables outside. The 6 of us are taking up 1/3 of the place, blending in with the locals in a way that only Borotsik’s can!

Back to the story…Greg and I are going toe to toe, just hittin’ beer, enjoying the night. We decide we should take a dip into the local brew, a large vat of beer (called Saigon 66) in the back of the store, in which the locals are drinking in mini-kegs – Basically small, plastic cider jugs. Greg and I split one, and poured our glasses to the brim, cheers’d one another, and raised the glass to our parched lips. Glug. Glug.

We put the glasses down and looked at one another.

M: ‘That was awful!’

G: ‘It tastes like Vinegar. Mixed with vomit.’

M: ‘Holy shit, that is the worst beer I have ever had. I don’t know if I can drink it.’

G: ‘If you don’t finish it, I will call you a pussy!’

So we each choked down 2 glasses of this swill. There are not enough negative verbs in the English language for me to explain how F’ing bad those glasses of beer were. It was a vile, disgusting excuse for a beer.

So that brings us to the Mekong tour…Honestly, I wrote about it once, and am getting a little bored with it, so I am going to skim.

It was a nice day. It was super relaxing compared to the 5 million motorbikes you have to deal with in Saigon. It was quiet, the people were nice, and the sights were very cool, but there was nothing that sticks out in my mind as mind blowing. I wore a snake again, we canoed down a very Amazon-like river…Good times, and a good escape, but all and all, nothing special.

Again, it was back to Saigon for the evening, this time minus the horse piss I drank the night prior. Just a quiet night, as the next day, we would be leaving on a jet plane to get to Da Nang, and our final destination of Hoi An.

…and that is where I am today.

This is a pretty relaxing little town that is dominated, like I said before, by tailors. And it has rained since we got here. We’ve had enough time to pick out fabric, get measured for clothes, and get loaded on free Vietnamese rum since we arrived. We had about 3 hrs today of rain free sky, so we booked it to the beach, where I FINALLY got to play in some big waves.

…But back to the tailors. I called it like Disneyland for fashion. You walk into a tailor, tell them what you want, whether it is a suit, shorts, t-shirt, dress shirt, sandals, dress shoes, runners, etc., come back a day later, and try it one. BAM! Vietnamese suit for $80.

In all, I got a suit, 5 shirts, a pair of shorts, and sandals made for UNDER $250. Don’t ask about Michele….I think she’s at 10 articles already, and we still have a day to go.

So that is where we stand. We fly out of here the day after tomorrow to head to Ha Noi where we plan to go to Sapa, and Ha Long, and also drink snakes blood.

Stay tuned!

Marty

PS – I was sad to hear the flames lost. Be happy to know that I comforted myself with about 8 tiger beer, and 8 free rum and cokes.

Go Hawks!

Fields, Floods, and ... Puking?!?!

Another couple of days, another city conquered by our heroes.

This time, Phnom Phen was taken to trial, and we showed it who was boss. Actually, we really only spent 2 days there, and we have moved on to Saigon (Ho Chi Mein City) in Vietnam. And so follows the story of Phnom Phen.

We arrived in PP on Thursday afternoon, a good time to get a lay of the land, and find a place to stay. The girls took a load off of their feet while myself and Trevor ran up and down Sisawath Quay (the main street in PP) looking for the best deal we could. Eventually, $20 a night for the 4 of us was the rate we found…The girls had already spent that in Diet Coke!

The rest of the evening was kinda fun. Trevor and I went for a long walk around PP, just getting lost. We found a Buddhist Ceremony taking place at a small temple across from the Royal Palace. Trevor took place in the ceremony by buying 2 birds ($0.25), and releasing them into the air. He also purchased some incense, and flowers as an offering to Buddha, and fought the crowd to get into the tiny temple. I sat on the sideline and acted as photographer.

The rest of the walk was filled with a full education in the Cambodian Culture:
- We watched some street dancers, some as young as about 7 years old.
- We were in attendance for some Cambodian line dancing. This group of people were enjoying some Traditional Cambodian dance music while grooving in formation. Trev and I laughed quietly, making sure we wouldn’t offend the locals.
- Just across the square, a few of the local teens were playing a game of kick ball with a wicker ball, a little smaller than the size of a volleyball. Watching those kids accurately swat the ball back and forth like a hacky-sack was impressive in its own right.
- A short walk through a PP Mall left us wondering if we were the only white people within BLOCKS! No English was to be found, and we felt a little out of our element. It was awesome.

Upon arriving back at the hotel, I discovered that the travel partners were a little tuckered out, so I headed out on the town solo. 6 Angkor Beers later, I had made new friends including a German, 3 Irish, and 3 Cambodian waitresses at the restaurant I was at.

That brings us to day 2 in PP, and plans were to see something that I have wanted to see for a long time…The Killing Fields of Cambodia. I wasn’t really sure what to expect of the fields, and the equivalent S.21, which is a school that Pol Pot turned into an internment camp and torture buildings. I had been to Aschwitz 4 years ago, so I really wanted to compare the 2 horrible events.

S.21 was just downright chilling, in my eyes. You had a chance to walk through the cells that the Khumer Rouge held their prisoners captive for days and days, only removing them for interrogations, and torture. Paintings and pictures depict the brutality of said events, from pulling out finger nails, and pouring alcohol on the wounds, to lashes and electrocution, to just plain beatings with iron pipes. When the Khmer were finished with the prisoners they would load them, 20-30 at a time onto trucks, haul them the 15 kms out to the killing fields, and kill them there, as soon as they got there, dumping their body into the mass graves.

The Khmer Rouge killed over 2 million of their own people. Lawyers, Politicians, doctors, Monks, and anyone else with enough brain cells to rub together to know what was going on was an atrocity. As the sign at the killing fields said, ‘The Pol Pot regime sent Cambodia back to the stone age.’

Overall, I was fascinated with S.21, and slightly unimpressed with the killing fields, but all and all, learning about the genocide of an entire nation was interesting, yet sobering. Everyone in Canada should have to understand what exactly goes on in the world outside of our boarder. …And the strange part about this one is that it was only 30 years ago. 1 generation ago. Scary.

On return from the killing fields, it was time to take a look at the National Museum of Cambodia, which happened to be only a couple blocks from our Guesthouse. As we made our way though the busy streets, we started to feel a few sprinkles on our head…The clouds were darkening, and the heavens were about to open up. So we sprinted into the Natl. museum just as the heavens burst open, soaking everything in its path.

We cruised the museum, half out of interest in the statues and carvings from Angkor, and half out of necessity since it was raining cats and dogs. When our touring was complete, the rain wasn’t. We walked onto the veranda to see an amazing sight. The water was 2/3 the way up the tires of the cars in the lot. It had risen over knee deep in front of the museum. Once the rain had stopped, we had no choice but to pull up the socks, and trek through the merky water to get back to the hotel.

It was actually pretty fun. Kids were swimming in the flash flood. Cars would drive by, creating waves, motorbikes would haul through the water, muffler submerged, bubbling for life. The locals loved seeing some white folk slopping around with them. Many giggles were thrown our way, and more smiles were tossed in our direction. Every kid wanted to have their snapshot taken with the camera that Michele was wielding.

It was almost sad to see the higher ground nearing. Who knew that playing in the muddy water on the PP streets could be so fun? After all, it’s all about experiences. This was just another one to remember.

That night, we went back, and hung out with the Cambodian girls at the bar I was at the previous night. This time, though, Bec and Michele joined me. I mean, we only had to be up at 5am to catch a bus. Why not have beer after beer, with shots mixed in between.

Needless to say, 5am came early. Some of us were feeling it more than others…I will preface this story by saying now, at 10pm at night, my stomach is still giving my troubles, and it wasn’t the booze! …As you have already guessed, I had a slight ‘reversal’ in the morning time as we were packing to leave the room. I left the hotel chugging O.J…Bad decision. When we arrived at the bus station, oops, reversal #2 in front of the other patrons that were going to embarking on a 6 hr. journey with me.

The ride from Phnom Phen was uneventful, other than the fact I had to try my damndest not to puke again for the first 2 hrs of the trip. Oh, and that the bus hit a cow on the road, killing it instantly, and causing the bus to come to a screeching halt, awaking the snoozing travelers. I found it pretty funny, other than the fact the cow died.

We are now in Saigon (officially known as Ho Chi Mein City…Locals still prefer to call it Saigon, as do I). We arrived at 2pm this afternoon, just enough time to be baffled by the amount of motorcycles on the street, and to be abused by the women in the local market. Their sales tactics seem to be a little more aggressive than anywhere else I have ever seen. I was actually punched twice, slapped on the arm twice, and whipped with a t-shirt once. But I did also buy a new bottle of cologne for under $5, so I consider it a win.

Tomorrow, we are off to the Cu Chi Tunnels. These are the tunnels the Viet Cong used to defeat the Americans in the ‘American War’. After that, its heading to the ‘War Remnants Museum’ which shows old American tanks, helicopters, bombs, etc. Should be a good education in the war that tore this country in two.

After Saigon, we’re not really sure where we are heading, but we are leaning towards a beach town called Mui Ne (Moo-Nee). Its been more than 2 weeks since Michele has seen a beach, so she is getting her wish.

I am really digging Saigon so far. Its got a very cool vibe to it. Let me see it for another 2 days, and I will go into more detail about what I mean.

In the meantime, and in between time, GO FLAMES!!!!! Seems like I am going to be missing a lot in the next 20 hrs…NFL Draft (Seahawks draft #4), and Flames-Blackhawks game 5. This is one day I really wish I was back home.

Just this one day…That’s it.

Good Times from Saigon,
MB

Angkor'd Out!

As what has become the norm, there has been a good 3 days since last post. This time, my excuse isn’t just lack of time, but the fact that internet here in Siem Reap is sub par, at best. The term ‘Wireless’ is responded with blank looks, and the computers in the Internet shops are no more then relics of the past. I have yet to see a computer with a USB port on it to copy over my writings and pics. My first home computer was a faster machine than the rusty, burned out boxes that we have been using.

So anyway, on to some stories….or synopsis…or whatever you want to call it.

Going back to the travels from Chiang Mai because, well, that is where I left the story hanging…Michele and I were to board a train at 2:50pm on Sunday to travel 15 hrs on 3^rd class to Bangkok. We got to the train station with hopes of upgrading, but to no avail, but to our dismay, they gave us the option of upgrading to a 2^nd class train at 6pm. We weighted the pros and cons, but the last straw was looking into the c

ar that we were to sit in, and the bench seats with no AC were none to appealing…so needless to say, we paid the extra $12 for the 2^nd class car.

With time to kill, I called Dave, and made plans to meet at a small American restaurant that we found to have the best chicken wings in Thailand. 3 hrs later we left the restaurant well fed, well watered (beer’d), and well educated on the difficulties on preparing American food in Chiang Mai. It was a pretty entertaining talking to Dirk, the Floridian proprietor of Pinky’s restaurant.

The travels were pretty non-eventful, other than a busy change over from train to bus in Bangkok, and meeting a nice Aussie girl on the bus from Bangkok to Siem Reap. We are now staying and traveling with this girl, Bec. I will mention that the final leg of the trip is a 3 hr. bus ride from Bangkok to the boarder, a 10 minute tuk-tuk ride from the bus depot to the boarder, then a 2K walk over the boarder. Once you get over to Cambodia, you then catch a cab (yes, a CAB) for the final 3 hrs to Siem Reap.

We arrived in Siem Reap late on Monday night. Before we even arrived in Siem Reap, we had been the victims of 2 attempted scheister schemes:
A) The Tuk-Tuk going to the boarder stopped at a travel agency trying to charge us mony for visas and transportations. Having read u

p on this particular scheme, we said ‘NO!’, and were eventually dropped off at the boarder.

B) The waitress at the restaurant we stopped at en route to Siem Reap charged us an extra $5 on the bill compared to the menu prices. It was thanks to Michele and Bec’s sharp eyes that we were able to foil this one.

With those two schemes behind us, we already were weary of anyone that wanted our business. In the last 2 days, we have learned that everyone in Cambodia wants your money, and will do anything they can to get it from you. Really, it is a 3^rd world Vegas in that regard.

A little more about Siem Reap (and Cambodia in general):

A) It makes me think this is what India would look like. The streets are dusty and filled with motorbikes, carrying everything from 3-4-or-5 people, to live hogs, to racks of chickens, to large propane tanks, to queen sized mattresses, and even large bedframes.

B) Like I said before, everyone and anyone wants your money. They will rip the white man off around every corner, so you have to keep your wallet close, and your wits closer.

C) Every kid has something to sell you, whether it is postcards, trinkets, collectables, tshirts, or just plain shit.

D) It is HOT! Like, heat I have never seen before! And there is no water in sight. We are all sweating,

E) Did I mention that they all want your money, and will rip you off around every corner. We met an American that was tossing around dollar

bills like he was Pacman Jones at a strip club. Every kid that asked for a dollar, he would ablige. Eventually, they were selling him goods for double what we would get them for. He also was paying more for his room, his water, his beer, his transportation, etc. They could see him coming a mile away. I laughed about it, he didn’t.

F) The currency in Cambodia? American Dollar. They have their own currency, called the Riel, but at 4000R to $1, it is basically used as change under a dollar. There are absolutely NO coins here. Also, the Cambodian people will take any currency at all…Thai Baht, Vietnam Dong, American Dollar, Cambodian Riel…Everything except the Canadian Dollar.

G) The babies in Cambodia are adorable! I understand why people want to adopt them, cause they are the cutest kids. That is saying a lot, too, cause I thought Thai kids were adorable! Some of the pics I have of the kids here would make even the coldest heart melt. Also, Michele made one little girl’s day by giving her some toys that she had brought from Canada. The girl’s eyes lit up as she discovered just what a ‘Super-Ball’ was.

Tuesday morning, we woke up nice and early (8am) and made our way to meet our pre-arranged driver. We had decided the evening before that we would prefer a car with AC over a Tuk-Tuk due to the sweltering heat. It ended up costing us $8 each for the day’s driving, and tour guiding by a young Cambodian named Barang. (Sidebar: The American I spoke of earlier spent $20 on a Tuk-Tuk. Once again, he felt that he got ripped. More Laughter from your humble narrator!)

So off our heroes went, in search of the Temples of Angkor, a true relic from the past, and one of the most amazing areas of South East Asia…Also one of the main reasons I am here in Asia to begin with.

The first stop was the big temple of Angkor Wat. For those of you that don’t know (My Mother) The Angkor Archeological Area is 400 sq. Kms just north of Siem Reap that consists of hundreds of temples, pagodas, carvings, monks, and Cambodians looking for cash. There are basically 3 large temples (Angkor Wat, Bayon, and Ta Pohem), each being known for something of their own. For instance:

- The Big Temple, Angkor Wat, is a stunning view. The 5 towers dominate the sky, and the beautiful pools in front act as giant mirrors, making remarkable images early in the morning as the sun rises. But with that said, I could enjoy the sight of Angkor Wat any time of day.

- Bayon is much smaller, but is protected by dozens of faces carved into the walls throughout the temple. Each face is approx. 8 feet high, and 6 feet across. Around every corner, there is a new face staring holes through you. This was probably my favorite temple in the region, as it made for the best close up shots.

- Ta Pohem is known for the movie ‘Tomb Raider’ with Angelina Jolie. Just knowing she walked in the same places I did was enough to want to go there, but there was a reason they chose that location for the movie. It’s a good sized ancient temple that has since been overtaken by the roots of the Karok Tree. As you walk through the archeological treasure, you are in awe of the shear size of the trees, and the 1100 years it has taken then to shape the character of the temple.

Those are the big 3 temples, but for archeology buffs, you could easily spend a week at Angkor exploring the hundreds of sights there are to see. Here are a few more observations and stories about Angkor:
A) Throughout every temple, every statue or carving has been beheaded. We heard multiple stories as to why this was:

a. The temples were originally hindu temples, so when the Buddists took over, this was their was of flexing their muscles, 1400’s style!

b. Same story (ish), but it was the Siam’s (Thia’s), and they couldn’t take the whole statue back to Thailand, as it would be too heavy, so they just took the heads.

c. The Kumar Rouge chopped the heads off in 1975 when they took power to show the people that this was their land now.

d. Theives throughout the years wanted their place in history, so they swipped the heads for their own tresures.

Either one or all of those stories are true, but regardless, looking at a huge statue of Vishnu (The Hindu god of destruction) seems a little strange when there is no eyes looking back at you.
B) It’s best not to delete any pictures you have taken while at the site, but if you do manage to do so, do it on a day where you can go back, and re-create the pics you deleted. That is what happened to me. With my mind in a state of retardedness, I managed to wipe 1G of my memory card free, containing all my shots from Those 3 temples, along with a couple other smaller ones. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but was salvageable with the fact we were going back the next day, thank god. If we had been in Phnom Phen already, I might not be alive now to tell this anticdote. Michele would have beheaded me like an ancient hindu statue.

C) AC was the way to go. This chubby Canadian can only take so much of the heat, so being able to jump into a Toyota Camry with the Air Con cranked was a beautiful release from the grasps of the Cambodian summer heat. Plus, our driver, Barang, was a friendly guy that loved looking after us, whether it was by playing tour guide, or with a story of his own in his Cambodian-English.

D) I had confirmed what I already knew: Monkeys are hilarious. We saw a pack on the side of the road while driving between Bayon and Angkor Wat, so we stopped, and fed them some bananas and lotus seeds…Michele, while attempting to pose for a picture, was holding onto a lotus seed a little to long, and the largest of the monkeys took a swipe at her. Once again, we had ‘the’ classic Borotsik-Smith conversation: ‘Are you ok?’ ‘yup’ ‘BHAHAHAHA!’

E) Sunset at Angkor Wat is stunning. The three of us awoke at 4:40am on Wednesday morning to get Barang to haul our asses out to the Site once again. The pics I got of the Temple refelceting of the water as the sun rose in the background were some that I am sure I will get blown up, and framed. For me, it was right up there with the view of Machu Picchu from the Sun Gate, and the Alp Valley from the top of the castle in Salzburg. All three are muse like sights for me that pictures do it no justice.

For sunset on the first night, Barang took us through the Cambodian country side (which is a story all on its own) to a pier that would take us out to the floating village. Another thing about Cambodia is that everything is negotiable, so when they told us it would cost $20 to get to the village for sunset, we scoffed, and walked away. By the time we got them down to $13, Michele was in, and I was tempted. Finally, I decided to make the trip, thankfully. (Sidebar: They ripped us off on change, so it actually cost us $15 each).

We hopped in a boat driven by a 19 year old, Thong, and his 14 year old brother, Chen, who was the talkative one of the two. He pretty much entertained Michele and I as the modified longtail navigated its way through the tributary to the main lake. What we saw when we got there was something out of a National Geographic Magazine. There are 5000 people that live on the floating village, and what I didn’t expect is that every house, shop, restaurant, etc was separate, so you need a boat to get from one house to the next. Out of the 5000 residence (made up of 380 separate floating residences), there are 3 different communites: 1 Cambodian, 1 Vietnamees, and 1 Muslim. They all live in harmony as the lake rises and falls with the seasons. Chen, Who lives in the village, mentioned that most people live there because they cannot afford places on the mainland. He also told us what his average day was like:

3:00am – Up with the birds so he can cast his net into the water in attempts to catch the daily need of fish, and maybe sell a few more to the market for a couple spare American dollars.

7:00am – Off to school, where he also attends in the village. The morning studies are from 7-11, with a two hour lunch break. At 1pm he returns for his afternoon studies, until 4.

5:00pm – Off to the pier to drive the boat for tourists like Michele and I. He got home at about 9pm, just in time to put his head down on a pillow, and start all over the next day.

When heading back to the shore, Michele asked Chen if she could take the wheel of the boat, and sure enough, she was driving a boat for the first time ever while on lake Tonle Sap in Cambodia. Not many Canadians can say that.

That basically describes the 2 ½ days we had in Siem Reap. We are now on a bus on our way to Phnom Phen. Our party has grown by 1, as the American, Trevor, has decided to join us. I have told him that I can negotiate for him form now on if he would like me to.

But all is well, all is good. As I write these words, It should be the 3^rd period in game 4 of the Flames-Blackhawks series. I am assuming the Flames have a comfortable lead (4-1?), so the series will be deadlocked at 2 heading back to Chicago.

I hope.

I hope all well back in Canada, or wherever you are reading this! I am pretty excited to say that we will be in Vietnam in a matter of days.

This trip is more than ½ over now, and I am starting to dread coming home….

MB

PS - Sorry bout the formatting...Computers in Phnom Phen suck as well. And Go Flames! I saw they won! What is the injury update?

In Siem Reap...

...And internet sucks here.

I have TONS to report, and will do so as soon as I can, but as of right now, all I will tell you is:

A) Angkor Wat is better than imagined. There are some amazing sights to be seen, in a place on the earth that should be more widely recognized.
B) Always back up your photos. I lost 200 pics from Angkor that we had to go back and re-take. Not a big deal, but I feel like a douche.
C) There is a floating village here that is like nothing I have ever seen before. I saw a make-shift floating cage that contained 2 large pigs...and that was only about the 10th coolest thing on that trip.
D) It is HOT. Like, REALLY F'n HOT! Over 40°C today, and I am a chubby guy. As long as I maintain my 1L water in per hour, I can maintain my 1L sweat out per hour.

I am going to put pen to paper (err, Fingers to keyboard) tonight, and would love to post tomorrow, but we will be on a bus from 7am-1pm going to Phnom Phen.

Wish us luck!
MB

Almost done in Chiang Mai

Hi Faithful Readers!

Its been a couple days again, but you have to understand how busy we have been. I guess that is why you come here though…just to hear how busy we have been.

So rewind a couple days…I posted some pics about our trip up to Doi Suthep, but I really didn’t tell much about the trip up. I should start there, and make my way through the freshwater lakes, Wat’s, Green Curry, and travel plans on where we are headed next.

Remember the jeep that we were able to fit 6 people into, and trounce around town with for Songkran? Well, once again on Wednesday, Berm (still pronounced ‘Bum’, btw) allowed the 6 of us to pile into it, and head to one of the holiest places in all of Thailand. That place is called Doi Suthep, and is located about 25 KMs outside of Chiang Mai, straight up hill the entire way. It was still the last day of songkran, so we were never out of the range of those little bastards and their ice cold water. At one point, on our way up, I was smart enough to call out the ice water gods by saying:

‘I don’t mind the regular water. It’s the ice water I hate!’

No more than 3 seconds later, the entire car was covered with pellets of water barely a degree about the freezing point.

We finally finished the climb to Doi Suthep, but not after one incline where the Jeep was unable to make it, stalling in the middle with cars coming in both directions! The 5 non-driving members of the party had to jump off and direct traffic as the Jeep had a controlled roll backwards to some flatter land. A run was then made at the incline, and the jeep burned off into the distance, leaving the 5 of us to fend for ourselves the last K uphill.

But we made it. And we found our driver, Scott, again. And we made the climb up to the temple. It’s about 100 stairs up to the temple that is said to be the home of one of Buddha’s bones. It was taken there by a ‘white elephant’ centuries ago, as the story is told.
The moral of the story is that this place is spectacular. It is a golden temple, surrounded by other golden temples, that overlooked the city from a perfect birds eye view. It was one of those places that you go to, and you just feel a little holier. You can feel the religious aspects of it as Monks are around you praying, and the locals going through the Buddhist rituals.

There was also a place within the inner temple that you could pray, and get your fortune read for you. Both Michele and I were fortunate to get ones that were fairly positive …Others were not so lucky. Some read fortunes like ‘You should not leave this place’, and ‘you are very unlucky’.

So that was the day. The night was a much deserved quiet night in, but sometimes even the quiet nights are deserving of a story. We watched a movie that night. Not just any movie. This movie was one that has not been released in Canada yet, called ‘X-Men: Origins – Wolverine’…and the version of it that was purchased on the streets of Bangkok just days prior wasn’t, well, quite a ‘release candidate’. Many of the special effects were no more than actors on ropes, and very retro graphics showing what was to be filled in. There were even points where you could still see the mats under Hugh Jackman as he dove to avoid a CG bullet heading his way. At times it was hysterical, but fortunatly (or maybe unfortunately) the movie was so bad in general that the unintentional comedy of the effects made it watchable.

That leads us to yesterday…With more help from Berm, we hired a driver for the day to take us on an hour journey north of the city to a National park in Thailand called Srilanna Park, which is home to a man made lake. On the lake, many of the locals have created floating bungalows, which are only accessible by longtail boats.

The 6 of us spent the day chilling on the deck of the bungalow, soaking up the scorching rays of the sun, replenishing our fluids that had seeped out of us, and of course, swimming and diving into he freshwater lake. It was an amazingly relaxing day in a place of Thailand that not many ‘round eye’ go to.

One of the favorites of the day was a 4 meter high platform that was about as sturdy as my travel companion after 6 Chang beers. All of us (except those afraid of heights) took our turns (read: lumps) from the platform, which was highlighted by Scott attempting a backflip, only to land directly on the left side of his face. The only things hurt were his cheek, and his pride. I have a video of the aborted flip that is worthy of posting....I will give it a shot soon enough.

The night that followed was another quiet one, highlighted by meeting up with the Manitoban girls we had met in Koh Phi Phi for Indian food. After eating too much butter chicken (a thai specialty, of course) it was off the night bazzar (a night time market), then home to watch a couple episodes of 30 Rock.

That brings us up to today. I was up bright and early to watch the Flames playoff game online…and I was able to get in the first flames goal (I believe I woke up the rest of my guesthouse with my ‘YESS!’)…but by the time the 2nd period was beginning, Dave, Michele and I were off to a Thai Cooking course. From 9am – 4pm, the 3 of us cooked with a Thai chef showing us a grand total of 21 dishes. This included a Green Curry that I made that was quite possible the greatest green curry ever made. I wasn't 'cooking' this Green Curry...I was CREATING it. If this food was art, this curry was a masterpiece! I was immediately given the crown as ‘Best Cook In Thailand’, and have been offered a job at one of the most prestigious restaurants in Chiang Mai.

Most of that is true….Right up to the part about the crown.

Its now time to go see the city. You see, Michele and I have booked a train ticket to get to Seim Reap on Sunday night/Monday Morning, so we really only have a day left in this city. And even though we have been here for 4 nights, and have done and seen some amazing things (Songkran in general, Doi Suthep, The National Park, Cooking classes), really feel like I haven’t experienced what Chiang Mai has to offer me. So tomorrow is a wonder-day…Lets get lost, buy vendor food, and see what we can find.

1 more day in Chiang Mai. After that, I ain’t stopping until I see Angkor Wat! Starting at 2pm on Sunday, we basically have 24 hrs in transit. It’s a 15 hr overnight train to Bangkok, followed by a 6+ hr. commute to Seim Reap. Wish us luck, as its probably going to be a torturous affair!

Flames were screwed. Ladd was in the crease!
Marty

PS - The beard is coming in nicely.

Some pics...

I thought today I would try something a little new. I thought instead of just re-iterating what the day was like, I would just show some pics from the first 2 weeks of the trip. So these are a collection of some of my favorites. There is some scenery, some fun times, and even some stuff I fell in love with at first site.

Enjoy!!!

Longtail boats in Phi Phi

A Dog sleeping on the steps of a small Wat in Bangkok.

They need to check the Thai to English dictionary

That is Koh Phi Phi Ley in the background. Home of 'the Beach'

Some nice sand covering beautiful rocks

Magnificent scenery

The Postcard shot

More scenery on Koh Phi Phi Ley

Me on 'The Beach'

View from the Viewpont on Koh Phi Phi

The Limestone cliffs that surround Railay Beach

...More of Railay

Sounds worse than it really is

Post battle group shot. I gave the kid a wet willy, and dave gave him a titty-twister

Railay Group shot

Michele and Erin acting like monkeys

The inscription of the king - Getting there was a bitch!

The monks are everywhere - These little ones were on the ferry with us

Scenery shot from the ferry

An elephant

Tristan flying high in Koh Pha Ngan

More fantastic assets of Thailand

Haad Salad on Koh Pha Ngan

Ok, last one...I promise

Sunset on Samui

Seriously...I am not sure what to say

reflecting on the waterfall

Mummified Monk

Kissing a cobra

Oneof my favorite pics from Wat Doi Sethep

The stairs to the Wat

Another good shot from the temple

Scott talking to the dog

Self shot over the city

Michele entering the inner temple

More reflecting...This time over the city of Chiang Mai

Welcome to Songkran… Chiang Mai Style!

We arrived last night in Chiang Mai to begin a new leg of our journey as the sun was setting, 7pm. I was under the impression that we would have a pickup at the airport, but low and behold, nadda.

Transportation wasn’t too far away in the form of a taxi cab, so we booted to our guesthouse where I was to meet an old travel friend, Dave, from Florida. Dave and I had spent a couple weeks traveling together through Croatia and Bosnia, and had been in touch since, but not seen each other in almost 4 years.

Michele and I got dropped off at the guesthouse not knowing what to expect at all. You see, it kinda sucks to get to a new city under the cover of darkness. It’s tough to get your bearings, and to really understand the lay of the land. Plus, we had no idea what to expect of the guesthouse because it had come recommended to us from Dave.

It was more than we bargained for. Once a full house, it has been converted into a full on backpackers dream. Full kitchen to use at our own will, and courtyard to call our own. There was also a newly added bar just off to a side that we could quite easily order beer or Sangsom from.

We placed our bags in our room, and I called out to the courtyard:

‘David Modini?’

The reply was a welcoming voice, and a phrase I had heard many times while in Croatia:

‘Holy shit!’

So we sat down with the already polluted Americans: Dave, his buddy Scott from school (U of Florida), and 2 American girls, one Katie working with Scott here in Thailand, and her friend from school (Montana State) named Liz.

Since it was already past 8pm, we decided to have a welcome beer, which Dave promised to have ready for me upon arrival. An hour or 2 (and numerous beer) later, it was time to see the city.

The Guesthouse is run by a man named Berm (pronounced ‘Bum’) who Scott knows well. He had lived in this guesthouse for a month back in October, so we immediately had an in…and it would be GOLDEN the next day. Little did I know that the next day, I would have one of the best experiences I have had while traveling in my life…All thanks to Berm.

So, Berm dropped us off in the middle of town. With a simple ‘thanks’ he was gone, and we were left, a group of 6 wondering the Songkran market in search of food, bathrooms, and beer.

A 40 minute walk found us semi fed, and that was about it. No bathroom had been found, and no beer was being poured. The 2 American girls, now on the verge of pass out from their 12 hrs of drinking, took off, leaving Michele and the boys. The barhopping commenced, stopping at a few places before settling on a ‘Mike’s Burger’. It was DELICIOUS!

I should mention that while walking down the streets of Chiang Mai at 1am, we ran into something I can say I would never see in North America. A local was leading a baby elephant down the street as his form of busking. So for a couple baht, you could buy sugar cane, and feed the poor pachyderm.

So that was the end of the night. When the morning came, I was itching to see the city. I had no idea what to expect from Songkran (The Thai New Year, also known as the Water Festival), but what I saw was something surreal. When I say that everyone in the city was throwing water on other people, I mean that EVERY PERSON IN THE CITY WAS THROWING WATER ON OTHER PEOPLE. Even where our guesthouse is, you couldn’t walk 25 feet to the 7-11 without being doused with water. We spent the first hour sitting on the street corner in front of the bar throwing water on all passer bys. On Moterbikes, in the back of trucks, on foot. It didn’t matter, everyone was a target. And my radar was tuned in!

Berm, because of his trust built in Scott, offered to give us a vehicle for the day. But this wasn’t just any vehicle…This was a war-aged Burmese jeep. It was goddamned F’n wicked. We piled all 6 of us into the jeep, and began our voyage throughout the city of Chiang Mai…and around ever corner there was another bucket of water being thrown at us. Some of the water was warm, some was cold, and some was a startling cold temperature that sent your gonads scrambling for cover. It was pretty common to hear Dave yell ‘WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU MAKE IT ICE WATER!?’

The trip continued into the city center where traffic moved at a snails pace. Along the moat in town, Chiang Mians were filling their buckets in at every opportunity, and flailing it onto the gathering crowd of motorbikes and cars. Every truck had a large garbage can of ice water ready to throw back as retaliation. The scene was something out of a movie…There was water flying at you from every direction, and every time the cold stuff hit, Dave let out his yell one more time.

This seriously was 3 hrs of driving around that was truly amazing. I have never seen a city out in full force, all with the idea of soaking one another, to wash away the sins of the previous year. It’s now 5pm here, and I am ready to go out, and start sinning for a brand new Thai year!

I am off to go crack a beer and have more green curry. Then the Celebration is in full effect.

Tomorrow, I have no idea what the docket holds, but I am hoping to keep semi dry. The chances of that happening are the same as the Leafs winning the Cup again any time soon.

Happy New Year,

MB

Things he missed - Part 1, By Michele Smith

I think it is very appropriate to start my first post in typical Marty style- “So” I am sitting at Bangkok airport waiting for my next flight to Chaing Mai and sipping on a diet coke. There are a lot of people around but none of them seem to be anxious about the protesting in the area. Happy New Year Thai style by the way today too!

A few things in general…

We have basically completed the first leg of our trip in the land of sunshine and smiles. I think it is safe to say that we really had no expectations about the type of people we were going to meet; only the things we wanted to see. We have certainly seen our fair share of rain so the sun will be a nice visitor and there have been plenty of smiles everywhere. Thai people are some of the most friendly, gentle and generous people that I have met. From the first person who helped us out with our guesthouse in Phuket, Kaya, to the couple who drove us to the airport in Ko Samui and were telling us about how their savings had been stolen from their bedroom just yesterday, there have been pleasant hellos and outgoing good wishes.

The other travelers we have met along the way have been great too. It isn’t that hard for someone shy like me to meet people when everyone with a back pack on has at least one thing in common - traveling. During one of the power outages we were at a bar dancing by the beach. The music stopped but the couple hundred travelers kept the tunes going. We bust out in song together with transitions from one song to the next not noticing the power had not yet come back on. From Kings of Leon’s Sex on Fire to Ole, Ole, Ole to The Roof Is On Fire, we may not have sounded great but we were singing our hearts out.

Another thing that many of us have in common is our Thai tattoo. It ranges in size, usually oval in shape and has varying degree of shades, sometimes it requires a lot of gauze and cling wrap and other times it just needs a long swim in the ocean to keep it clean, some are permanent and others fade with time. Let me explain. It is fair to say the first time you ride any two wheel motorized device can be a little bit nerve wracking especially when you get thrown off the back of it when your driver is still “getting to know the bike” and has done an unexpected pop-a-wheelie. This was my experience and now I, like many other bandaged travelers around me, have my own Thai tattoo, the lasting effects of a fall off the bike and a limb brushing up against the tail pipe.

Lastly, probably Marty’s most intriguing and uncomfortable topic of the trip and the one a lot of you are very curious about, ladyboys! These boys make some of the most stunning women and definitely have thrown him and many of the other guys here off their game. Their approach has definitely changed when they start to hit on a cute Thai girl who may have slightly larger hands than others they have met. We have sat back and watched as the ladyboys have managed to capture the eye of an unsuspecting guy with there beauty and charm. Sadly, Marty has not yet fallen prey to a ladyboy but I will continue to monitor and keep you all informed when the snogging happens and it will!

(Marty’s edit: Neither has it come close to happening with me, nor will it! But Dave, on the other hand…jk buddy!)

(Parent Edit: Snogging is a british term for ‘frenching’)

Haha, gotta run. Our flight to Songkran is calling. Hope everyone is great! Missing ya!

Happy Easter from the other side of the world

As the blog seems to be mostly my handy work, Michele has been adding her handy work!

Please click on the images to see the larger version:


HAPPY EASTER!!!

Love,
Michele and Marty

Full Moon & Koh Samui! Chiang Mai tomorrow...

It seems as though I am getting less and less time to write these entries. Our days have been jammed packed with a good combination of sight seeing, beaches, and naps. That really is a winning combination, by the way.

I guess I haven’t written much either, because I am reading a new book. ‘A Journey to the Center of the NFL Universe’ by Rich Eisen is quite the page turner. Just2 days reading it, and I am basically ½ done. I recommend it.

Geez, I have a few days to cover. I am going to try to cover the night of the 8th and day of the 9th quickly.

Wednsday night, we attempted to keep a little quiet. We knew the next night was a world famous party night, and plus, I wanted to bike up the east side of the island to see what it had in store for me…But low and behold, the night before the full moon, there I was, bucket in hand, outside the ‘Cactus Club’ right on the beach dancing in the rain. By the time my last sip had been drank, and my last move had been busted, I headed back to the room only to find I was the last one there. I had not made sunrise, but I did have a hell of a good night, and a hell of a bad hangover come morning.

But, morning did come, and for the 2nd one in a row, I was on my bike, heading out. This time I was flying solo as the rest of my team decided to prep for the Full Moon party by sleeping, and they did a great job of prep!

I headed up the east coast, and saw some pretty amazing things. There were a couple beaches that were quite magnificent, some ladies on the beaches that matched, and some waterfalls surrounding them that were nice and peaceful…just what I needed in the state I was in. Did you know the constant sound of water crashing upon rocks could be considered the cure for a hangover?

One of the most interesting things I saw on my day-journey was an inscription of King Rama IV in the mid 1800’s. the inscription itself was pretty damn cool, but the location of the rock was a story un-to itself. Basically driving on a dirt road in the middle of Koh PhaNgan, no one else within a Km of me, there is a massive monument of the current king, and a path behind it. A sign ½-way down the path made mention of the inscription, so I continued to walk into a dense jungle, and over a HUGE rock that had a make shift temple built on it. Behind the temple, stairs were carved into the rock, down to a babbling brook…across a bridge made out of 3 downed trees, and I could see the rock that I needed to be looking at. The problem is that the inscription faced downstream, and was difficult to see from the shoreline. So, as nimble as I am, took out my camera, and slid the harness over my neck…I knew my trusty 4x4 flip flops were the perfect footware for the situation, so I jumped rock to rock, holding onto a branch for balance, and making sure not to kill any centipedes. After a ½ dozen 3 foot jumps, I landed at my destination, square infront of the inscription. So the picture itself might not make for an amazing photo, but getting there was a story for me.

Heading back to Haad Rin after my brush with the king, the clouds started darkening. I am not sure I have mentioned this yet, but it has rained….every day since we got here. Seriously, we have not had a rain free day. The good part is that most days, it rains for an hour or so, eventually clearing up, and giving us an open sky for the evening. This was not one of those cases. I was in the middle of nowhere, and the rain felt like tiny bullets against my face as I raced to get to any town to weather the storm.

Finally, 5 kms later, I was in a town, at a coffee shop. Thankfully, they had internet, so I ordered a coffee, hit the net, and waited. …and waited. …and waited. It seemed like a good 90 mins until it was good enough to drive in. I made it back safe, and soaking to the bone. All and all, it was a good day trip! And the night was still to come.

So after a hell of a nap, it was REAL party prep time. There was only one problem. The entire island was in the midst of a good 2hour party outage, and the rain was still coming down. Conditions were looking bleak for the Full Moon Party, but our hopes were high.

First Bucket. Just to explain, the partying done on Koh PhaNgan is done with buckets. You buy them for about 200 baht ($6), and they pour a micky of booze in, plus ice and your mix. Its a lot of fun, but can be deadly at the same time, as I found out the previous night. But with bucket in had, and the power back on, we inked ourselves up good. My friends had the amazing idea of painting an entire Viking helmet on my face using purple paint. I really didn’t have much problem with it, as I would be representing my high school proud! Go Vincent Massey Vikings. Michele had some face ink done, and everyone wore a Pulp Fiction quote on their body. ‘Bring out the gimp’ ‘Royal with Cheese’ ‘Zed’s dead baby!’ etc.

Bucket 2. This was as we arrived to the beach. It was now damn near 1am, and the party was just getting started. The next 5 hrs are a little bit of a blur, but what I can tell you is that the beach is about a mile long, and it was FILLED with tourists, locals and ladyboys. They say there are 10,000 people that make the voyage to the beach for the party, and I would agree with the estimates. Every person felt the beats of the techno raging from nuemerous bars. Bodies were colliding on make shift dance floors, flipflops were lost and found at random locations, buckets were spilled erroneously, and sipped mistakenly. Men and women alike took turns peeing in he worlds biggest toilet. Through the hordes of people and buckets, I lasted until about 6am (after I took part in another island tradition…the late night burger). Michele and Erin were very proud to make sunrise, a feat that none of the guys in our party managed to do. The big talk for the men was all just a bunch of bullshit. Michele is currently making me write this. She tells me that the music got better, the crowd became rejuvenated at the sight of sunlight, and the buckets of booze were still being poured. I think she is full of shit. In retrospect, I wish I did make it to the light just to confirm her stories…

It was quite an adventure and I was happy to take part in it, but all and all, it was all a little overwhelming with that many tourists in one location. I prefer the quieter, laid back islands, which is exactly why Michele, Erin and myself got out bright and early in the morning to Koh Samui. I should mention that I am writing this from the shores of the Gulf of Thailand, sand on my feet, shoreline about 20 feet in front of me, and the door to our bungalow about the same behind. Yup, we are staying RIGHT on the beach, all for 800 baht a night ($27). To my right, I can see Had Lamai, the 2nd biggest city on the island. To my left, Palm tree jungles. Its quite relaxing, basically the yang to Koh Pha Ngan’s yin.

So the first day on Samui was a hangover day. We did get one sightseeing trip in, and that was to what is known as the Hin Ta (Grandfather) and Hin Yai (Grandmother) rock. Not sure why their name references an elder generation, but it is VERY obvious as to why it references the genders. You see, Hin Ta is a rock formation of a giant penis pointing into the sky, and Hin Yai is quite obviously a woman’s vagina. I have never laughed so hard at the sight of rocks, and the reaction of the locals to me laughing was more laughter. I am sure the locals hear people laugh at the natural formations all the time, but for some reason, the 4 ladies pawning their goods near the rocks quite enjoyed my boisterous laugh.
Once Michele and Erin worshiped their penis god, and I snapped the photos, it was officially time to go into hangover mode. Beach, meet us. Us – Beach.

But yet again on our trip, the weather would not co-operate, so it was back to the bungalow for a siesta. We took the evening easy, and decided to spend our money on good thai food, rather than buckets for the first time in a week. It was a quiet night, but a good night reflecting on what seemed like a closed chapter, and talked about what we could write in the blank pages in front of us.

That chapter was written this morning, and it was damn fun. I have come to discover that the best way to see an island is on motorbike, so we rented said bikes, and buzzed off with the map in our hands, and plans in our head. First stop? 7-11 to get out of the rain! We pleaded to the gods to let us have just one day - Just one freaking day without rain. The gods listened, and up until now (almost 7pm) we have not seen another drop.

So, 2nd stop. A Wat (Thai for ‘temple). These places are made with such detail, you can’t help but be in awe of the monks and their homes. Gold fixtures adorn the buildings, and Buddha is seemingly watching you with every step you take.

Next, we attempted to find some waterfalls. The first attempt was left with a 30 minute hike, and a waterfall that wouldn’t even draw attention in Manitoba, let alone Thailand, but the 2nd was quite spectacular. A 30 meter drop of water cascading in a pool below. The entire area was surrounded by elephants, and those willing to pay the 700 baht to ride them. Once again, the 4x4 flipflops kicked into high gear, and Michele and I dangled over rocks to get the best view, away from the thin crowd that gathered on the main viewpoint. I think this is one time that the pics really will be quite good.

An hour on the falls seemed to be our limit, so we left in hopes of lunch. Prior to leaving, I provided one of the elephants with lunch…a bundle of bananas I had purchased for 8 baht. The baby elephant (apparently not a cub…more of a calf) was thankful for the meal.

It’s now Sunday afternoon….So MORE time to catch up on. I am back in the same place…Same beach chair, same ocean in front of me, same town to the right, same travel mate catching rays. Lumai is really the chilled, quiet place we have been looking for for a week now…Until the Muay-Thai fights begin. More on that shortly…

I am hoping to have this entire blog posted tonight, Sunday morning in Canada. Then we are heading to Chiang Mai for Songkran.

So, I will continue where I left off:
Lunch, and beach. It seems to be a common order of operations on the islands. Marty swimming in the distance, Erin and Michele perfecting their golden brown tan. Rinse, Repeat.

So after the beach break, we got into some true thai culture, and some truly amazing things, all within an hour. First stop was a large temple. As we entered on our bikes, an older ‘caretaker’ style gentleman motioned to us to come with him to see the Wat. We walked upon the rows of temporary tents that were set up for the upcoming songkran to a smaller house at the back of the grounds. We removed our shoes, as is customary in Thailand, and walked up the stairs of the hut, viewed inside a glass door to see a mummified monk. The Caretaker sat us down in front of the monk, and gave us information on its history. …He was born in Samui, and joined the monk-hood at a young age. He had helped build the Wat, and slowly moved up the ranks. By the time he died in 1976, he was 87, and the head of this temple. After 66 years in the monkshood and a life of purity and meditation, his body mummified naturally upon his death without use of chemical preservation. Its fair to say that my body will not be mummified in the same regard.
As gestured by our tour guide, we all said a prayer, lit some incense, and placed it in the container of ‘prayers’ in front of the monk.

What made the experience that much better is that the gentleman giving the impromptu tour seemed to have a thing for Michele. He began massaging her arm, and was asking if he could give a full massage. Michele kindly declined, as she is really not that into 80 year old Thai guys with less teeth that fingers. Although she did make mention that the arm massage he gave was hitting all the right spots, and the flower he gave her was ‘very beautiful’.

Just down the road from the Wat, we came across the Samui snake farm. The 2pm show had just begun, but Erin and I were interested on seeing just exactly happens at a Samui snake show, so we got in half price. Michele declined, as she wasn’t too keen on seeing cobra’s being kissed.
Erin and I went in just in time to see a woman with her face covered in scorpions. Awesome!

There was a crowd in the ring of about 20, and most gasped as she was just removing them from her mouth, nose, hair, ears. They came off one at a time. 1…2…you could see an eye now…3…4…nose…5…6…Jesus, how many are on there? 7…8…9…10. In all, she had put 15 scorpions on her face.

Next up were the badboys of the farm. 5 king cobras were placed in the ring from a auspicious box in the corner. The cobra charmer stood between the 5, motioning to them how to move, and how to stay still. He kissed a couple, and even waved some at the crowd. He gave everyone the opportunity to touch the cobras, to which a couple women in the crowed screamed.

The show continued. There were the Pythons, then the Bamboo snake that acted dead. It was palced around Erin’s neck for long enough to snap a killer picture. And finally, the last part of the show was a young thai girl that put the scorpions back on here, with the cherry on top being one in her mouth. She then, if the whole thing wasn’t strange enough, proceeded to dance around the ring like a hula dancer. It was obscure Thai entertainment at its finest.

So at the end of the show, we were given the opportunity to wear a boa. This one wasn’t of the Hulk Hogan variety, thought. It was one that weighed 70 lbs, and was covered in scales. It’s really cool to feel the strength of the snake begin to tighten around my neck.
So that was basically the end of the sightseeing for the day. It was time to comeback to our bungalow, write the first part of this entry, shower, and hit up some supper. Our evening entertainment had been mentioned, but not fully planned, so we had to figure out what really was in store for us at ‘Lamai Thai Boxing’.

So we arrived to the ring at 10pm. Now, I have to set the stage. It is all outdoor, and on all sides are small Kiosk style bars. In all, I would say there were 10 of these bars, many with generic translations as ‘LadyBar’ and ‘Enjoy Bar’, etc. Well, from what we could tell, the lady fights were between women that worked at these bars. So the first lady match of the night had the pitbull from kangaroo bar against the Xena from Lady bar. The winner would get a cash prize, plus a bonus from the bar they work at.

In all, there were 7 fights on the night. The first was guy on guy, and ended in round four after the smaller competitor complained of being lowblow’d. He came back in the ring swinging for the fences, only to leave himself open to a finishing blow. BAM, he hit the canvas, and the crowd erupted. Knockout in the first match. The second match was women, and was rather non-descript, as was the 3rd match (even though it ended as a knock out as well. Props to Michele for getting it on video!). But the 4th match of the night is one I have to talk about.
Here is how the announcer introduced the fight to the crowd of ½ tourists, ½ locals in broken English: ‘Girl matches 3 round. Men matches are 5 round. So …Ladyboy matches are FOUR rounds!’. That’s right, the 4th fight was made up of two thai ladyboys. The two he-she’s bitch slapped one another to begin the fight. They they whailed on one another in a way that only Alexander Semin would be proud. One ran around the ring screaming like a banshee while the other chased her…err….him around arms flailing like a, well, ferry. In all honesty, it had potential to be one of the more interesting fights of the night had one corner not thrown in the towel just 1 min into the 3rd round. Bitches!

Before I close off the Thai Boxing story, I will mention that the drinks around the ring were 80 baht each, which is astronomical in thai standards, so I spent the 2 hrs walking to the 7-11 across the street between matches to fetch the 3of us beer at 25 baht per (less than a dollar). It wasn’t until round 2 of the final fight that the waitress discovered my cheapskate ways and yelled at me in Thai. I had saved us over 500 baht on the night, and she was none to pleased about it. HA!
So then we decided we needed a drink or two before calling it a night. As we were walking to our desired location, we ran into a local who also happened to be from Sparwood originally. We had met him earlier at a travel agency, and now he was taking us under his wing, along with his girlfriend and German friends for the evening.

We sat at a quiet bar, ordered beer, and I turned to a 22 year old German named Marc who was sporting a Pinacolada! I burst out laughing and asked him if his nuts were in the drink, or if he had left them back in Munich. The other Canadian, who was also a Mark, made mention to me that if he tried that at the Stampede, he would be laughed at. I returned the comment by saying that if he tried that at Octoberfest in his home town, they would dis-own him.

So the night progressed from there. Not much really to get into, we ended up at an empty club, we had a few beer, and by the time 4am rolled around, it was time for bed. Michele turned on the TV in our room at 4am to find Canada Vs. the Swiss in the World Curling Championships on TV. We cheered on the Canadians for an end before calling it an end…of the night.

Today has been REALLY chilled. We all slept in, and really didn’t get moving until damn near 1pm. Erin decided last night that she wanted a tattoo before she left, so we cruised downtown to find a place that could fulfill her wish. Mission Accomplished. She is now inked up with the thai letters for ‘Strength and New Beginnings’…and is also now on her way to the airport to head back to Austrailia. She has work in 2 days. Michele and I still have 4+ weeks to go.

Also, walking the streets today, it is obvious that Songkran is beginning. You could not make it a block without getting sprayed, squirted, or doused with water. I was talking to the tattoo artist about it, and he said this is NOTHING. Wait until tomorrow!

Thankfully, we will be in Chiang Mai tomorrow. I am a little Island’ out. Time to move on and see some things, some culture, some ancient remains, and still have a little fun doing it. Time to get away from the relaxation of beaches, and beach towns. Time to crank it up a notch.

Also, please let me know what you want to hear. I have basically been writing synopsis on our days and nights, interjecting some stories here and there. Do you want to know more about observations? More stories? More about the locals? More about the travelers we meet? Please give some input!

Chiang Mai, here we come!
Happy Easter, Everyone!
MB (with guest appearance by MS)