Full Moon & Koh Samui! Chiang Mai tomorrow...

It seems as though I am getting less and less time to write these entries. Our days have been jammed packed with a good combination of sight seeing, beaches, and naps. That really is a winning combination, by the way.

I guess I haven’t written much either, because I am reading a new book. ‘A Journey to the Center of the NFL Universe’ by Rich Eisen is quite the page turner. Just2 days reading it, and I am basically ½ done. I recommend it.

Geez, I have a few days to cover. I am going to try to cover the night of the 8th and day of the 9th quickly.

Wednsday night, we attempted to keep a little quiet. We knew the next night was a world famous party night, and plus, I wanted to bike up the east side of the island to see what it had in store for me…But low and behold, the night before the full moon, there I was, bucket in hand, outside the ‘Cactus Club’ right on the beach dancing in the rain. By the time my last sip had been drank, and my last move had been busted, I headed back to the room only to find I was the last one there. I had not made sunrise, but I did have a hell of a good night, and a hell of a bad hangover come morning.

But, morning did come, and for the 2nd one in a row, I was on my bike, heading out. This time I was flying solo as the rest of my team decided to prep for the Full Moon party by sleeping, and they did a great job of prep!

I headed up the east coast, and saw some pretty amazing things. There were a couple beaches that were quite magnificent, some ladies on the beaches that matched, and some waterfalls surrounding them that were nice and peaceful…just what I needed in the state I was in. Did you know the constant sound of water crashing upon rocks could be considered the cure for a hangover?

One of the most interesting things I saw on my day-journey was an inscription of King Rama IV in the mid 1800’s. the inscription itself was pretty damn cool, but the location of the rock was a story un-to itself. Basically driving on a dirt road in the middle of Koh PhaNgan, no one else within a Km of me, there is a massive monument of the current king, and a path behind it. A sign ½-way down the path made mention of the inscription, so I continued to walk into a dense jungle, and over a HUGE rock that had a make shift temple built on it. Behind the temple, stairs were carved into the rock, down to a babbling brook…across a bridge made out of 3 downed trees, and I could see the rock that I needed to be looking at. The problem is that the inscription faced downstream, and was difficult to see from the shoreline. So, as nimble as I am, took out my camera, and slid the harness over my neck…I knew my trusty 4x4 flip flops were the perfect footware for the situation, so I jumped rock to rock, holding onto a branch for balance, and making sure not to kill any centipedes. After a ½ dozen 3 foot jumps, I landed at my destination, square infront of the inscription. So the picture itself might not make for an amazing photo, but getting there was a story for me.

Heading back to Haad Rin after my brush with the king, the clouds started darkening. I am not sure I have mentioned this yet, but it has rained….every day since we got here. Seriously, we have not had a rain free day. The good part is that most days, it rains for an hour or so, eventually clearing up, and giving us an open sky for the evening. This was not one of those cases. I was in the middle of nowhere, and the rain felt like tiny bullets against my face as I raced to get to any town to weather the storm.

Finally, 5 kms later, I was in a town, at a coffee shop. Thankfully, they had internet, so I ordered a coffee, hit the net, and waited. …and waited. …and waited. It seemed like a good 90 mins until it was good enough to drive in. I made it back safe, and soaking to the bone. All and all, it was a good day trip! And the night was still to come.

So after a hell of a nap, it was REAL party prep time. There was only one problem. The entire island was in the midst of a good 2hour party outage, and the rain was still coming down. Conditions were looking bleak for the Full Moon Party, but our hopes were high.

First Bucket. Just to explain, the partying done on Koh PhaNgan is done with buckets. You buy them for about 200 baht ($6), and they pour a micky of booze in, plus ice and your mix. Its a lot of fun, but can be deadly at the same time, as I found out the previous night. But with bucket in had, and the power back on, we inked ourselves up good. My friends had the amazing idea of painting an entire Viking helmet on my face using purple paint. I really didn’t have much problem with it, as I would be representing my high school proud! Go Vincent Massey Vikings. Michele had some face ink done, and everyone wore a Pulp Fiction quote on their body. ‘Bring out the gimp’ ‘Royal with Cheese’ ‘Zed’s dead baby!’ etc.

Bucket 2. This was as we arrived to the beach. It was now damn near 1am, and the party was just getting started. The next 5 hrs are a little bit of a blur, but what I can tell you is that the beach is about a mile long, and it was FILLED with tourists, locals and ladyboys. They say there are 10,000 people that make the voyage to the beach for the party, and I would agree with the estimates. Every person felt the beats of the techno raging from nuemerous bars. Bodies were colliding on make shift dance floors, flipflops were lost and found at random locations, buckets were spilled erroneously, and sipped mistakenly. Men and women alike took turns peeing in he worlds biggest toilet. Through the hordes of people and buckets, I lasted until about 6am (after I took part in another island tradition…the late night burger). Michele and Erin were very proud to make sunrise, a feat that none of the guys in our party managed to do. The big talk for the men was all just a bunch of bullshit. Michele is currently making me write this. She tells me that the music got better, the crowd became rejuvenated at the sight of sunlight, and the buckets of booze were still being poured. I think she is full of shit. In retrospect, I wish I did make it to the light just to confirm her stories…

It was quite an adventure and I was happy to take part in it, but all and all, it was all a little overwhelming with that many tourists in one location. I prefer the quieter, laid back islands, which is exactly why Michele, Erin and myself got out bright and early in the morning to Koh Samui. I should mention that I am writing this from the shores of the Gulf of Thailand, sand on my feet, shoreline about 20 feet in front of me, and the door to our bungalow about the same behind. Yup, we are staying RIGHT on the beach, all for 800 baht a night ($27). To my right, I can see Had Lamai, the 2nd biggest city on the island. To my left, Palm tree jungles. Its quite relaxing, basically the yang to Koh Pha Ngan’s yin.

So the first day on Samui was a hangover day. We did get one sightseeing trip in, and that was to what is known as the Hin Ta (Grandfather) and Hin Yai (Grandmother) rock. Not sure why their name references an elder generation, but it is VERY obvious as to why it references the genders. You see, Hin Ta is a rock formation of a giant penis pointing into the sky, and Hin Yai is quite obviously a woman’s vagina. I have never laughed so hard at the sight of rocks, and the reaction of the locals to me laughing was more laughter. I am sure the locals hear people laugh at the natural formations all the time, but for some reason, the 4 ladies pawning their goods near the rocks quite enjoyed my boisterous laugh.
Once Michele and Erin worshiped their penis god, and I snapped the photos, it was officially time to go into hangover mode. Beach, meet us. Us – Beach.

But yet again on our trip, the weather would not co-operate, so it was back to the bungalow for a siesta. We took the evening easy, and decided to spend our money on good thai food, rather than buckets for the first time in a week. It was a quiet night, but a good night reflecting on what seemed like a closed chapter, and talked about what we could write in the blank pages in front of us.

That chapter was written this morning, and it was damn fun. I have come to discover that the best way to see an island is on motorbike, so we rented said bikes, and buzzed off with the map in our hands, and plans in our head. First stop? 7-11 to get out of the rain! We pleaded to the gods to let us have just one day - Just one freaking day without rain. The gods listened, and up until now (almost 7pm) we have not seen another drop.

So, 2nd stop. A Wat (Thai for ‘temple). These places are made with such detail, you can’t help but be in awe of the monks and their homes. Gold fixtures adorn the buildings, and Buddha is seemingly watching you with every step you take.

Next, we attempted to find some waterfalls. The first attempt was left with a 30 minute hike, and a waterfall that wouldn’t even draw attention in Manitoba, let alone Thailand, but the 2nd was quite spectacular. A 30 meter drop of water cascading in a pool below. The entire area was surrounded by elephants, and those willing to pay the 700 baht to ride them. Once again, the 4x4 flipflops kicked into high gear, and Michele and I dangled over rocks to get the best view, away from the thin crowd that gathered on the main viewpoint. I think this is one time that the pics really will be quite good.

An hour on the falls seemed to be our limit, so we left in hopes of lunch. Prior to leaving, I provided one of the elephants with lunch…a bundle of bananas I had purchased for 8 baht. The baby elephant (apparently not a cub…more of a calf) was thankful for the meal.

It’s now Sunday afternoon….So MORE time to catch up on. I am back in the same place…Same beach chair, same ocean in front of me, same town to the right, same travel mate catching rays. Lumai is really the chilled, quiet place we have been looking for for a week now…Until the Muay-Thai fights begin. More on that shortly…

I am hoping to have this entire blog posted tonight, Sunday morning in Canada. Then we are heading to Chiang Mai for Songkran.

So, I will continue where I left off:
Lunch, and beach. It seems to be a common order of operations on the islands. Marty swimming in the distance, Erin and Michele perfecting their golden brown tan. Rinse, Repeat.

So after the beach break, we got into some true thai culture, and some truly amazing things, all within an hour. First stop was a large temple. As we entered on our bikes, an older ‘caretaker’ style gentleman motioned to us to come with him to see the Wat. We walked upon the rows of temporary tents that were set up for the upcoming songkran to a smaller house at the back of the grounds. We removed our shoes, as is customary in Thailand, and walked up the stairs of the hut, viewed inside a glass door to see a mummified monk. The Caretaker sat us down in front of the monk, and gave us information on its history. …He was born in Samui, and joined the monk-hood at a young age. He had helped build the Wat, and slowly moved up the ranks. By the time he died in 1976, he was 87, and the head of this temple. After 66 years in the monkshood and a life of purity and meditation, his body mummified naturally upon his death without use of chemical preservation. Its fair to say that my body will not be mummified in the same regard.
As gestured by our tour guide, we all said a prayer, lit some incense, and placed it in the container of ‘prayers’ in front of the monk.

What made the experience that much better is that the gentleman giving the impromptu tour seemed to have a thing for Michele. He began massaging her arm, and was asking if he could give a full massage. Michele kindly declined, as she is really not that into 80 year old Thai guys with less teeth that fingers. Although she did make mention that the arm massage he gave was hitting all the right spots, and the flower he gave her was ‘very beautiful’.

Just down the road from the Wat, we came across the Samui snake farm. The 2pm show had just begun, but Erin and I were interested on seeing just exactly happens at a Samui snake show, so we got in half price. Michele declined, as she wasn’t too keen on seeing cobra’s being kissed.
Erin and I went in just in time to see a woman with her face covered in scorpions. Awesome!

There was a crowd in the ring of about 20, and most gasped as she was just removing them from her mouth, nose, hair, ears. They came off one at a time. 1…2…you could see an eye now…3…4…nose…5…6…Jesus, how many are on there? 7…8…9…10. In all, she had put 15 scorpions on her face.

Next up were the badboys of the farm. 5 king cobras were placed in the ring from a auspicious box in the corner. The cobra charmer stood between the 5, motioning to them how to move, and how to stay still. He kissed a couple, and even waved some at the crowd. He gave everyone the opportunity to touch the cobras, to which a couple women in the crowed screamed.

The show continued. There were the Pythons, then the Bamboo snake that acted dead. It was palced around Erin’s neck for long enough to snap a killer picture. And finally, the last part of the show was a young thai girl that put the scorpions back on here, with the cherry on top being one in her mouth. She then, if the whole thing wasn’t strange enough, proceeded to dance around the ring like a hula dancer. It was obscure Thai entertainment at its finest.

So at the end of the show, we were given the opportunity to wear a boa. This one wasn’t of the Hulk Hogan variety, thought. It was one that weighed 70 lbs, and was covered in scales. It’s really cool to feel the strength of the snake begin to tighten around my neck.
So that was basically the end of the sightseeing for the day. It was time to comeback to our bungalow, write the first part of this entry, shower, and hit up some supper. Our evening entertainment had been mentioned, but not fully planned, so we had to figure out what really was in store for us at ‘Lamai Thai Boxing’.

So we arrived to the ring at 10pm. Now, I have to set the stage. It is all outdoor, and on all sides are small Kiosk style bars. In all, I would say there were 10 of these bars, many with generic translations as ‘LadyBar’ and ‘Enjoy Bar’, etc. Well, from what we could tell, the lady fights were between women that worked at these bars. So the first lady match of the night had the pitbull from kangaroo bar against the Xena from Lady bar. The winner would get a cash prize, plus a bonus from the bar they work at.

In all, there were 7 fights on the night. The first was guy on guy, and ended in round four after the smaller competitor complained of being lowblow’d. He came back in the ring swinging for the fences, only to leave himself open to a finishing blow. BAM, he hit the canvas, and the crowd erupted. Knockout in the first match. The second match was women, and was rather non-descript, as was the 3rd match (even though it ended as a knock out as well. Props to Michele for getting it on video!). But the 4th match of the night is one I have to talk about.
Here is how the announcer introduced the fight to the crowd of ½ tourists, ½ locals in broken English: ‘Girl matches 3 round. Men matches are 5 round. So …Ladyboy matches are FOUR rounds!’. That’s right, the 4th fight was made up of two thai ladyboys. The two he-she’s bitch slapped one another to begin the fight. They they whailed on one another in a way that only Alexander Semin would be proud. One ran around the ring screaming like a banshee while the other chased her…err….him around arms flailing like a, well, ferry. In all honesty, it had potential to be one of the more interesting fights of the night had one corner not thrown in the towel just 1 min into the 3rd round. Bitches!

Before I close off the Thai Boxing story, I will mention that the drinks around the ring were 80 baht each, which is astronomical in thai standards, so I spent the 2 hrs walking to the 7-11 across the street between matches to fetch the 3of us beer at 25 baht per (less than a dollar). It wasn’t until round 2 of the final fight that the waitress discovered my cheapskate ways and yelled at me in Thai. I had saved us over 500 baht on the night, and she was none to pleased about it. HA!
So then we decided we needed a drink or two before calling it a night. As we were walking to our desired location, we ran into a local who also happened to be from Sparwood originally. We had met him earlier at a travel agency, and now he was taking us under his wing, along with his girlfriend and German friends for the evening.

We sat at a quiet bar, ordered beer, and I turned to a 22 year old German named Marc who was sporting a Pinacolada! I burst out laughing and asked him if his nuts were in the drink, or if he had left them back in Munich. The other Canadian, who was also a Mark, made mention to me that if he tried that at the Stampede, he would be laughed at. I returned the comment by saying that if he tried that at Octoberfest in his home town, they would dis-own him.

So the night progressed from there. Not much really to get into, we ended up at an empty club, we had a few beer, and by the time 4am rolled around, it was time for bed. Michele turned on the TV in our room at 4am to find Canada Vs. the Swiss in the World Curling Championships on TV. We cheered on the Canadians for an end before calling it an end…of the night.

Today has been REALLY chilled. We all slept in, and really didn’t get moving until damn near 1pm. Erin decided last night that she wanted a tattoo before she left, so we cruised downtown to find a place that could fulfill her wish. Mission Accomplished. She is now inked up with the thai letters for ‘Strength and New Beginnings’…and is also now on her way to the airport to head back to Austrailia. She has work in 2 days. Michele and I still have 4+ weeks to go.

Also, walking the streets today, it is obvious that Songkran is beginning. You could not make it a block without getting sprayed, squirted, or doused with water. I was talking to the tattoo artist about it, and he said this is NOTHING. Wait until tomorrow!

Thankfully, we will be in Chiang Mai tomorrow. I am a little Island’ out. Time to move on and see some things, some culture, some ancient remains, and still have a little fun doing it. Time to get away from the relaxation of beaches, and beach towns. Time to crank it up a notch.

Also, please let me know what you want to hear. I have basically been writing synopsis on our days and nights, interjecting some stories here and there. Do you want to know more about observations? More stories? More about the locals? More about the travelers we meet? Please give some input!

Chiang Mai, here we come!
Happy Easter, Everyone!
MB (with guest appearance by MS)